Today I’ve been married 16 years. Yes, we got married on the Fourth of July which also is the anniversary of our first date. We were well into adult lives when we met at U-Mass Boston in an anthropology course. I lived in Jamaica Plain then and he in Cambridge. I worked full time at MIT (clerk, nothing special) and he was/is a bass player and still did work as a sound guy. He liked my son from the start as they both read faster and better than most.
We have now lived half of our married life in Austin. And I’m still wondering how I come I live in Texas. Not true, I think, why am I still in Texas and then I remember, Oh yeah — my husband has work here. Each of our parents have died. A beloved old cat. The adolescent who read James Bond and Faulkner at 12, is married and we’re grand-parents. (OK, so this feminist wonders how she ends up sounding like a 60’s housewife?)
These are a few of my favorite snapshots from our wedding day. The lace in my veil is from my grandmother’s wedding gown. Our mother’s chatting before the ceremony, and my father walking me down the aisle.
As I took my father’s arm to walk down the aisle I looked up at him and said, “Dad?” And he shushed me saying, “don’t talk, I’m crying” with his great proud walk. “I love you,” I went on. After a long pause he replied, “Well that’s a fucking miracle for all I put you through.” Not the usual words one hears at her wedding, in a church, albeit a Congregational church. But then again, what is the proper thing to say in a big deal, life moment? That was mine. That was my dad.
We had a great day. The next day, I left with Charlie for a scenic ride to Mount Auburn Hospital so he could have prostate surgery. That’s the short story and to be honest, the whole story. . .we have moved together through medical issues, house remodeling, parenting a teenager. We have done these rough patches with down-right ugly fighting and we have done them with ease and understanding. We did it, do it all because at the core of what makes us, us, is love. Stubborn, curious, passionate love with just a little bit of rain.